Looking Ahead, No Turning Back.

I found this picture not too long ago. I was so stunned, and it really got me thinking on how much I’ve really changed my entire life. I’m in the green dress.

The before picture was from April 2009. I went to Las Vegas for my cousin’s wedding. I don’t even remember barely anything from that trip. It’s all a blur. Going to Las Vegas should have been a fun and memorable experience. Instead, I literally just sat on the sidelines of my life. If you look at that girl in the green dress, she looks like she’s in a daze. She looks like she was off in oblivion. She was alive, but certainly not living.

Flash forward to June 2013 (the picture on the right). I’ve lost 120 pounds, and have made a complete lifestyle change. That was the day I ran a 10 mile race and beat my previous time by over 10 minutes!!!! I was so elated. This is a girl who is living. This is a girl who has a gigantic smile on her face that is sincere in every aspect of the word. This is a girl who is no longer sitting on the sidelines. She’s running past those sidelines (literally) and enjoying every second of her life.

Changing the way I eat and moving my body was the best decision I’ve ever made. They say a picture is worth 1000 words, but honestly, these two pictures are worth so much more than words. Milestones. Tears. Sweat. Determination. Strength. Courage.Those are the few of many words that come to mind.

I cannot even begin to explain how much growth and change I’ve made. I truly have transformed. I have changed physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

The fitblr community has helped me in so many ways, and I hope to be able to give back. If I inspire you in any way, shape, or form, I’m a better person for it. We’re all in this together, guys. We truly can be anything we want to be.

fitcats:

Can I just say how happy I am about this time!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a new PR!!!!!

Guys. You guys. I beat last year’s time by 10 whole minutes!!! Last year, I finished in 1:47:11, this year I finished in 1:37:04!!!!!!!!!! You can view last year’s post about this run here.

I did everything differently this time around. Last year, I carb-loaded before the race with tons of pancakes and pretty much ate whatever I wanted because I thought, “Oh I’m running 10 miles, I can eat what I want. I’ll need energy.” This did not go over well, and I was pretty uncomfortable the whole time I was racing last year.

This year, however, I carb-loaded the night before with Ezekiel bread, natural peanut butter and whole wheat pasta. The morning of the race I had a banana, a cilf bar, an a little energy gel shot. I felt good the ENTIRE run. I even wore a watch this time around, and as I was running I could NOT believe what good time I was making. 

What’s really ironic is that last year, I trained MUCH MORE for this run than I did this year. This year, I only ran one 8 miler and one or two 6 milers prior to this 10 mile race (okay well I did run a lot on the treadmill too), and last year I did two 8 milers, a bunch of 6/7 milers, and just overall trained more for it. I also had a lot of problems mentally with how I viewed food and I was at a constant mental battle with binge eating.

Which brings me to this amazing fact: today marks exactly 75 days (Almost 3 months… WHAT?!) of a new mindset and approach to clean eating and making this a lifestyle, and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Binge free. This is so huge. I cannot explain it enough. I promise I’m going to make a detailed post about this soon. I’ve just been really busy with working full time and taking a summer course. Plus, my best friend is home for a couple days from college, and I do like to see my boyfriend every now and then ;). But believe me, it’s coming.

I went into this race hoping to beat last year’s time. I wanted to get under an hour and 40 min, but even that I thought wasn’t going to happen. So, I told myself to at least try and beat last year’s time, even if it’s just a couple seconds. And what do ya know… I CRUSHED my 1:40 goal and finished 10 minutes faster. That’ an amazing accomplishment in not only the running world, but in my world as well. :’)

Needless to say, this is exactly how I felt upon completing the race:

Work has a catered paid lunch for us today.

Co-workers bring in home-made desserts.
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Michelle eats a couple chips, a tiny (very tiny) piece of cheesecake, and a few chocolate dipped strawberries.

Michelle goes on with the rest of the day normally and doesn’t binge eat on everything in sight thinking that she ruined her eating today and might-as-well continue with it.

It’s been a little bit over two months of serious consistency. My mind has changed, and I’ve sincerely grown. Huge post about this coming underway, y’all.

Instantly my hunger is gone and I’m so full. Also downed 16oz of water. Not only does pb fill you, it’s so sticky in your mouth that you’re forced to drink lots and lots of water… leading you to be even more full.

Ugh. Peanut butter.