The Power of the Word “No”

About 5 days ago (this past Sunday), I had a sudden revelation or perhaps even an epiphany you could say.. I got up and decided to weigh myself. I haven’t weighed myself in two weeks. I was suppose to be weighing myself every week, but bad eating and my period occurred so I gave myself excuses and avoided the scale. On Sunday, however, I decided to give myself a harsh reality slap. I needed to see where I was at because I knew if I kept skipping my Sunday weigh-in, I would inevitably keep fumbling around and not making any progress (with tons of excuses). I weighed myself and it was exactly what I thought it would be. No surprises. It said I gained about 4-5lbs. I know that most of it is water weight, but I was still very disappointed in myself. I did the Insanity work out for a month straight, ran outside, went to the gym, and did Spin classes… all while putting my body through a lot and even injured my knee/hip for about a week. How could I fuck all that up in such a short amount of time due to poor eating?

What it comes down to folks… it’s all about what you eat.

I exercise a lot. A whole lot. 6 days a week (for the most part) and it’s intense. Not to say I work out 6 days every week, but trust me, I work out a whole lot. Exercise isn’t my problem. It’s the eating. Where I’m at in my journey (about 20ish pounds left to lose), I need to be counting EVERY single calorie that goes into my body and EVERY single calorie I sweat out of my body. Which brings me to the fact that I have a MyFitnessPal account now.

On Sunday, I joined my fitness pal and started tracking my calories. I went to the gym and was under my calorie count. I realized how helpful my fitness pal actually is. It holds me accountable in a way I haven’t experience yet. Perfect example: Two days ago I was sitting on the couch, watching a movie, and without even thinking about it, I was getting up to go to the kitchen to snack on something. Before I made it to the kitchen, I was like, “Wait a minute, you’re done your calories for the day. You were under. You finished them up for the day on My Fitness Pal. You don’t want to go in there and eat and have to add more in.” And that’s when I realized I do that a lot. I go in the kitchen and pick at little things and then it becomes big things and that’s where things just get so messed up. I stopped myself and sat back down. The past 5 days, I’ve been consistent. I’ve worked out and tracked my calories. Had hundreds of calories left over for every day. It feels good. Really good. I think I’m on to something…

The screenshot of the text on the top of this post was a conversation I had with my boyfriend tonight. I’m going over his house for dinner. Let’s take a look at the facts people:

-I automatically didn’t mention having mashed potatoes

-I automatically said white meat.

-When I was fat, I would ONLY eat dark meat. I would scoff at the thought of even having white meat.

-I never ate veggies when I was fat. Ever.

This brings me to something else. When I was fat, I never ate wheat bread. I remember this one time I went to a restaurant with a friend and I ordered a fried chicken sandwich. The restaurant only made them on wheat bread, and I didn’t know it at the time. My food came out, and when I saw the wheat bun instead of a white bun, I immediately was so turned off. I thought, “Ew, wheat bread.” I asked the waitress for a white bun, and when she told me they only had wheat, I was appalled. Looking back, just this little instance alone, I’ve realized how much I’ve changed.

Fast forward 3 years: All I eat is wheat and Ezekiel bread. Never white. It’s natural for me now.

So many realizations going on this past week. I realized when I first started my weight loss journey, I restricted myself and said “NO.” This is how the weight came off. I kept saying No. Whether it was out loud or in my mind, that two letter word was there. Hell, I even went on vacation and dieted the whole time there while my family ate their faces off. I remember taking the croutons off my salad and my whole family getting ice cream while I got coffee… all on VACATION. That determination is the reason why I’m at where I’m at today. And that is the determination I need to get these last 20lbs off. I’ve realized I’ve become comfortable. I’m not obese anymore. I have a boyfriend. A new job that I like. Amazing friends and family. A whole new life…. but I still have a goal to get to. I can’t be comfortable. I’m not allowed to be. I need to get there.

And that’s why today… I said no. “No.”

My work had a bake sale today to honor a fallen Police Officer who died. There was cupcakes, cheesecake, banana bread, donuts, soft pretzels, and other pastries galore. I could have easily ate some of it. I said No. Instead, I ate my turkey sausage, egg whites, fruit, and Soy Crisps. The table with the pastries were sitting right next to me. It could have been so easy to go over and have one. Any other time, recently, I probably would have ate some and justified it. “Oh, it’s only a little.. It won’t hurt.” “Oh, I’ll just burn it off.” “Oh, I deserve it. I work so hard.”

No.

I know what pastries taste like. I’ve had them plenty of times in my 21 years of living. Why do I need it? I don’t NEED them. They’re empty calories. And all they’re doing is holding me back from my goal. That’s it. Setting me back.

And guess what, guys? I was just as satisfied with my healthy choice of food (By the way, my co-worker had 8 cupcakes.)

The word “No” is a beautiful thing. I challenge you to embrace it. I sure know I’m going to. Today was special. I had to document it. Here’s to saying “No” more often, and saying “YESSSSSSSSSS!!!” when I get to my goal.